Zane: Yeah, but not cheddar. Aged gruyere, please.
Great. I've got a 4 year old cheese snob.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Horror Story
I hate dream sequences in movies. I really don't like it when people tell me about their dreams. I generally skim over dream descriptions in books. When I tell someone about one of my dreams, I edit fastidiously, only hitting the most crucial points of the dream. That said, I've had some pretty entertaining "action-movie" dreams that I don't mind retelling. Last night's dream was not one of those dreams. Last night's dream was a "horror movie" dream. And everyone knows that I don't watch horror movies.
Scene: Large house, party, several families including my parents, brother and sister-in-law.
Zane has some sort of accident and dies. John and I decide, for some inexplicable reason, that we have to cover it up. My mom has pulled some meat out of the freezer to make a meal. We get her involved and decide to butcher the body and cook it with the rest of the meat. We think no one will notice the extra "meat." I think my mom does the butchering - you know, because, she's more experienced. With butchering. I keep thinking "why do we have to cover it up if it was an accident? Why are we doing this? What about the bones? What are going to do with the bones?" I imagine trying to bury the bones and organs in the yard and just know that we're going to get caught.
After my mom does a literal hack-job on Zane's body, she adds some "breast" meat (it looked like chicken - I guess even my unconscious mind can't imagine what human meat looks like) to the pan along with the other generic meat and lets it simmer away in the gravy (I hope this doesn't ruin gravy for me).
Jump to everyone eating. People start questioning what the meat is, saying it tastes weird or different. I agree, suggesting that maybe it's gone bad. Everything starts to unravel and...I wake up. And just about throw up.
There. My one dream sequence. Forgive me.
Scene: Large house, party, several families including my parents, brother and sister-in-law.
Zane has some sort of accident and dies. John and I decide, for some inexplicable reason, that we have to cover it up. My mom has pulled some meat out of the freezer to make a meal. We get her involved and decide to butcher the body and cook it with the rest of the meat. We think no one will notice the extra "meat." I think my mom does the butchering - you know, because, she's more experienced. With butchering. I keep thinking "why do we have to cover it up if it was an accident? Why are we doing this? What about the bones? What are going to do with the bones?" I imagine trying to bury the bones and organs in the yard and just know that we're going to get caught.
After my mom does a literal hack-job on Zane's body, she adds some "breast" meat (it looked like chicken - I guess even my unconscious mind can't imagine what human meat looks like) to the pan along with the other generic meat and lets it simmer away in the gravy (I hope this doesn't ruin gravy for me).
Jump to everyone eating. People start questioning what the meat is, saying it tastes weird or different. I agree, suggesting that maybe it's gone bad. Everything starts to unravel and...I wake up. And just about throw up.
There. My one dream sequence. Forgive me.
Car Talk
Zane: Why is the window glass?
Me: Well, the glass is clear, so it lets us see out but it’s still hard enough to protect us from stuff like the wind and bugs.
Zane: And rain?
Me: Yep, rain, too.
Zane: And creditors?
Me: Uhhh....I suppose it would protect us from creditors. Creditors? Where did he hear that? Was I watching something on TV talking about it? We haven’t had issues with creditors in a long time.
Zane: Yeah. Like tigers.
Me: Oh! PRE-dators! Yes, definitely predators!
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