Happy Thanksgiving

We're getting ready to go over to my brother and sister-in-law's house for Thanksgiving. I asked Zane if he was going to be nice to his cousin, Noah. His reply? "I just don't think so."

Why...don't you shut your pie hole

Tired of the "why" phase. "Why" is no longer a delightful response to a world full of new experiences from a precocious and inquisitive little boy but a whiney, rote response to EVERYTHING I SAY!

Zane: Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy...

Me: Yes?

Zane: Can I have a popsicle?

Me: Yep. Sure.

Zane: Why?

Me: Zane, when you ask me for something, and I say "yes," don't ask me "why." I might change my mind to "no."

Zane: Why?

Lovely

Overheard conversation between my mom and Zane in her bathroom:

Mimi: I heard toots. Is there a poop?

Zane: There's a biiiiiiig poop!

Mimi: Oh! Look at that lovely poop!

Zane: Poops are also yucky. They're not lovely.

Dirty Rotten Scounrel

(I will try my darnedest to accurately describe the following event which made me laugh silently with my face turned away so as not to encourage)

Scene: Our den after pizza dinner. John's returned home after 4 days away and Zane is very excited. He's finished his pizza and two yogurts and is ready for his bath featuring his new "Ginormous Grow Dino" toy that John brought home from the Burbank airport and erroneously told him would get "this big" in the tub (either out of disattention to detail or unwillingness to wear his old man glasses, John didn't notice that the growing process takes 3 to 7 days).

Zane: I'M READY FOR MY BATH NOW!

John: I'm almost done with my pizza. Can you take off your clothes to get ready?

(Zane furiously disrobes to his diaper)

Me: Take your diaper (pronounced DYE-PAH because it's funny) off.

Zane: (pulling his tummy up and out of the way so he can see the pull tabs on his diaper and pulling one free) I have to go pee-pee.

Me: Ok. Go to the bathroom and go pee-pee.

(Zane puts the diaper tab back in place, stares blankly ahead with mouth agape and legs bowed)

(5 seconds pass quietly)

John: Are you peeing in your diaper?

Zane: (blank stare) uh-huh.

(5 seconds pass)

John: Are you done?

Zane: (repositions, blank stare, 3 seconds pass) Yep! I'M READY FOR MY BATH NOW!